Two things coaches really need

While under discussion between coaching theorists and practitioners, there are some core competencies that most will agree contribute to being an effective coach. These core competencies are the ‘things a coach does’ before, during and after a coaching session, and comprise coaching knowledge, skills, attitude and behaviour (Southern Institute of Technology, n.d.).

Active listening

I’d like to focus on two competencies that I feel are possibly the most challenging. The first is listening (ICF, n.d.). The ability to listen involves the related skills of active listening and questioning. Active listening also has many different interpretations, but essentially includes three aspects: comprehending, retaining and responding. Going hand-in-hand with active listening is questioning. Questions are part of our everyday lives, and we can’t really communicate without them. Question types that are common include, probing, elaborating, hypothetical, clarification, planning and strategic.

The tough part is being fully ‘there’ while your coachee is speaking, so that you are listening for what is and isn’t being said. You also need to be able to understand what is meant within the wider context of your coachee’s aspirations - while also choosing powerful questions to help your coachee express themselves and dig deeper into their area of focus.

Sometimes active listening will require a coach to leave space for their coachee to download what’s on top, without passing judgement or making comment (ICF, n.d.). Imagine working with someone with whom you have developed a strong professional relationship, such that you care a lot about their welfare. They then share a situation in their professional or personal life that is affecting them deeply. You have to be able to listen while keeping your own opinions firmly off the table, and to hear what is being said, as well as intuiting the ‘gaps’. You then need to be able to summarise, paraphrase, reiterate, and mirror back (ICF, n.d.) what your coachee has said, and follow up with questions to help them break from a loop of negative reflection so that they can work toward next steps.

Sometimes supporting the coachee to move forward may require finding just the right questions to support them to break from the narrative running through their head. The conversation can help them recognise, for instance, implications within their current situation for their own values, beliefs and goals. It is likely to involve bringing the coachee to the point where they identify what they feel is important, what is and is not possible, and to support their exploration of their own perceptions and concerns, while possibly helping them identify alternatives. Ideally, by the end of the session(s) the way forward should be owned by the coachee, who should feel heard, supported, positive, and comfortable about the next steps they have chosen to take.

This is a big ask, and requires empathy rather than sympathy. The coach has to remain as neutral as they can (non-judgemental) and to constantly check whose agenda is being served by the questions they are posing.

Help with managing progress

The second core competency I feel is tricky, and which is linked to the first one, is to help a coachee manage their own progress (including accountability) (ICF, n.d.). Within this competency is a need to delicately balance attention on what a coachee has identified as important for them, while also leaving responsibility with the coachee to take action (ICF, n.d.).

For example, during a coaching session it may be that there has been some great work identifying steps toward your coachee’s stated goals and big-picture aspirations. Your coachee has identified specific action points, considered possible blockers, enablers and sources of support, and put a timeframe around everything. They even ask if they can text you once they have carried out key actions as they feel it will help keep them on track. You receive one text, and then nothing. At the start of your next session you ask about how things are going in relation to the actions that were identified. Then, remaining non-judgemental, you acknowledge them for what they have achieved, and talk through why the coachee feels they haven’t made progress toward their actions. This could involve reviewing the actions based on what the coachee has learned, or become aware of, since your previous session.

The focus, therefore, while helping the coachee remain on track and ensuring an ongoing sense of positivity, is more importantly about helping them build the skills and strategies to be resilient and self-motivated, such that they carry through with what they say they are going to do, within the time frames they have put in place.

These are both competencies that it takes time and experience to hone, and remaining self-reflective as a coach will help develop them. The exciting thing is, when it’s spot on, the coachee can move from a place that seems bleak, to one where, over time, they recognise that the initial situation provided a catalyst for incredible professional growth.

References

International Coaching Federation. (n.d.). ICF Core Competencies. Retrieved from http://www.coachfederation.org/files/FileDownloads/CoreCompetencies.pdf.

Southern Institute of Technology. (n.d.) Transformational Coaching and its outcomes (Module A) [Lecture notes]. Retrieved from CBC105 (NET).

Image

Helper. CC ( BY NC ND ) licensed Flickr image by Outi : https://flic.kr/p/bRkRu

'Hows' and 'whys' of active listening

One of the abilities of a coach is the being able to listen - to try to understand another person’s reality, and how they experience and interpret their world. Active listening has been identified as an “important way to bring about changes in people” and an “effective agent for individual personality change and group development” (Rogers & Farson, 1987, Para 3).

Most people have heard of active listening; however, it is a tricky skill to pin down. Active listening (sometimes also known as empathic or reflective listening), is described by Salem (2003) as “a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust” (2003, Para 1). On the other hand Castleberry and Shepherd (1993) see active listening as a “cognitive process of actively sensing, evaluating, interpreting, and responding to … verbal and nonverbal messages” (p. 36). There are overlapping aspects to each of these two definitions including (on an intellectual and emotional level) listening to:

• focus on verbal and non-verbal cues,
• check accuracy of understanding,
• acknowledge what is being heard (and observed), and
• respond appropriately.

Note that the second definition mentions “evaluating”. However, in most coaching contexts the listener ideally reserves their own opinion or judgement (Whitworth et al, 2007) and doesn’t try to change the mind of the speaker. The listener’s removal of their own agenda, and potential associated criticism, is an integral part of being able to “demonstrate a spirit which genuinely respects the potential worth of the individual, which considers [their]... insights and trusts …[their] capacity for self-direction” (Rogers & Farson, 1987, Para 2). It also helps signal to the speaker that the listener sincerely considers them worth listening to, and that they believe the speaker has something to contribute.

So, active listening in coaching is about you focussing on the other person and listening to what they are saying without interrupting them. It’s about using your own words to act as a sounding board and reflect back to the speaker that you hear their point of view. When someone is listened to, “they tend to listen to themselves with more care and to make clear exactly what they are feeling and thinking” (Rogers & Farson, 1987, Para 3). As such, you need to check your understanding of what has been said - or hasn’t (for example, the gaps and hesitations that reveal feelings and attitudes underpinning the words). This approach enables you to find out more and explore possibilities, as well as to establish real empathy, trust, and mutual respect.

Essentially there are three aspects to active listening: comprehending, retaining and responding (Rothwell, 2010).

• Comprehending: encapsulates the notion of shared communication, and indicates that meaning will need to be identified, negotiated and acknowledged. The aim is to be attentive to what is being said, as well as to other verbal and nonverbal cues. Because there is often other noise, the listener may need to filter it out so that they don’t become distracted.
• Retaining: Memory is an integral part of the listening process and is part of how we process sounds into meaning. Focussed, mindful listening are therefore essential, because momentary lapses in concentration (sometimes caused by visual distractions) can affect memory and retention such that you hear inaccurately, or have to ask for clarification or repetition.
• Responding:  Both the speaker and the listener in a successful communication, are interested and active. The listener will be providing feedback that they are interested via noncommittal responses (e.g. “uh huh”), or short questions (e.g. “I’d like to hear more about that”). In face-to-face contexts they may use other visual nonverbal cues too. Depending on the feedback the speaker is receiving, there may be the decision to adjust the communication approach, or even bring the communication to a close.

Active listening is a skill on which you can work. It takes practice to listen and focus on what is being said without bringing in your own agenda. It is a skill that develops the more you use it, and is likely to need you to also reflect on your own underpinning beliefs. Is it worth the effort? In groups that use active listening people are likely “to listen more to each other, to become less argumentative, more ready to incorporate other points of view” (Rogers & Farson, 1987, Para 3). Also, those who develop their active listening skills are likely to establish deep relationships, while also positively impacting their own attitudes; truly a “growth experience” (Rogers & Farson, 1987, Para 3).

References

Castleberry, S., & Shepherd, C. D. (1993), Effective Interpersonal Listening and Personal Selling, Journal of Personal Selling and Sales Management, XIII(1), 35-49.

Rogers, C R., & Farson, R.E. (1987). Active listening. In Communication in Business Today. Eds. R. G. Newman, M. A. Danziger, & M. Cohen. Washington C.C.: Heath and Company.

Rothwell, J. D. (2010). In the company of others: An introduction to communication. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Salem, R. (2003). Empathic Listening. In Beyond Intractability. Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Retrieved http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/empathic-listening

Whitworth, L, Kimsey-House, K, Kimsey-House, H, & Sandahl, P. (2007). Co-active coaching: New skills for coaching people toward success in work and life. Palo Alto,California: Davies-Black Publishing.

Image

In conversation. CC ( BY ) licensed Flickr image by Catriona Savage: https://flic.kr/p/6xEzVr

Listening, empathising, and staying on track: Core competencies for coaching

While under discussion between coaching theorists and practitioners, there are some core competencies that most will agree contribute to being an effective coach. These core competencies are the ‘things a coach does’ before, during and after a coaching session, and comprise coaching knowledge, skills, attitude and behaviour (Southern Institute of Technology, n.d.).

I’d like to focus on two competencies that I feel are possibly the most challenging. The first is listening (ICF, n.d.). The ability to listen involves the related skills of active listening and questioning. Active listening also has many different interpretations, but essentially includes three aspects: comprehending, retaining and responding. Going hand-in-hand with active listening is questioning. Questions are part of our everyday lives, and we can’t really communicate without them. Question types that are common include, probing, elaborating, hypothetical, clarification, planning and strategic.

The tough part is being fully ‘there’ while your coachee is speaking, listening for what is and isn’t being said. You also need to be able to understand what is meant within the wider context of your coachee’s aspirations - while also choosing powerful questions to help your coachee express themselves and dig deeper into their area of focus.

Sometimes active listening will also require a coach to leave space for their coachee to download what’s on top, without passing judgement or making comment (ICF, n.d.). Imagine working with someone with whom you have developed a strong professional relationship, such that you care a lot about their welfare. They then share a situation in their professional or personal life that is affecting them deeply. You have to be able to listen while keeping your own opinions firmly off the table, while listening to hear what is being said, as well as hearing the ‘gaps’. You then need to be able to summarise, paraphrase, reiterate, and mirror back (ICF, n.d.) what your coachee has said, and follow up with questions to help them break from a loop of negative reflection to work toward next steps. Sometimes this may require finding just the right questions to support your coachee to move on from the narrative running through their head; toward recognising, for instance, implications of the situation for their own values, beliefs and goals. It is likely to involve bringing the coachee to the point where they identify what they feel is important, and what is and is not possible. You would then need to support their exploration of their own perceptions and concerns, and possibly help them identify alternatives. Ideally, by the end of the session(s) the way forward should be owned by the coachee, who should feel heard, supported, positive, and comfortable about the next steps they have chosen to take.

This is a big ask, and requires empathy rather than sympathy, and for the coach to remain as neutral as they can (non-judgemental) and to constantly check whose agenda is being served by their questions.

The second core competency I feel is tricky, and which is linked to the first one, is to help a coachee manage their own progress (including accountability) (ICF, n.d.). Within this competency is a need to delicately balance attention on what a coachee has identified as important for them, while also leaving responsibility with the coachee to take action (ICF, n.d.). For example, during a coaching session it may be that there has been some great work identifying steps toward your coachee’s stated goals and big-picture aspirations. Your coachee has identified specific action points, considered possible blockers, enablers and sources of support, and put a timeframe around everything. They even ask if they can text you once they have carried out key actions as they feel it will help keep them on track. You receive one text, and then nothing. At the start of your next session you ask about how things are going in relation to the actions that were identified. Then, remaining non-judgemental, you acknowledge them for what they have achieved, and talk through why the coachee feels they haven’t made progress toward their actions. This could involve reviewing the actions based on what the coachee has learned or become aware of since your previous session.

The focus, therefore, while helping the coachee remain on track and ensuring an ongoing sense of positivity, is more importantly about helping them build the skills and strategies to be resilient and self-motivated, such that they carry through with what they say they are going to do, within the time frames they have put in place.

These are both competencies it takes time and experience to hone, and remaining self-reflective as a coach will help develop them. The exciting thing is, when it’s spot on, the coachee can move from a place that seems bleak, to one where, over time, they recognise that the initial situation provided a catalyst for incredible professional growth.

Image: Balance. CC ( BY NC ND ) licensed Flickr image by Neil Lewis: https://flic.kr/p/AGJcy

References

• International Coaching Federation. (n.d.). ICF Core Competencies. Retrieved from http://www.coachfederation.org/files/FileDownloads/CoreCompetencies.pdf.

• International Coaching Federation. (n.d.). Core Competencies. Retrieved from http://www.coachfederation.org/credential/landing.cfm?ItemNumber=2206&navItemNumber=576.